sometimes.. i wish......

if only i could be a normal person, a simple one, with no knowledge whatsoever. If only, i am living in the past, i would love to spend my time doing some farming :) The simplest kind of happiness is also the most difficult to reach and hold on to. Too many sacrifices have to be made in exchange of such simple life...

If only i could be a person with the capacity to love. Maybe i will be able to reach out to more people, help more people and be happy with who i am. Maybe i will be more confident to seek the happiness that i want. Maybe i will know what i want in my life. Maybe i will be a lot more truthful to my friends and family.

If only i could turn back time. Maybe i will change myself, and be a better person. Maybe, i wont even understand the need to set standards for myself. Sometimes, i just want a simple life. Maybe the simplest of all the simple wishes is the hardest to fulfill.... Maybe i am just greedy...

I will move on and be a normal person now... I shall be brain-washed, forget everything and start a new. I shall have the courage to move on, to forget, to forgive and to face everything.

i read somewhere in the book today and i felt that it is kind of true for all women, irregardless of who they are:

'sometimes, even the strongest women need arms to lean on'.

Even the strongest person will have his/her weakest moment. Maybe i should just accept this fact and learn to share. Maybe i will try. Maybe i wont. Maybe somewhere in me, i just find it hard to lean on another. Maybe, the independence/pride/whatever it may be, stop me from learning to lean on another.

I will try to learn, but this is the hardest of all. All of these are just part and parcel of growing up. Maybe someday, i will really grow up. :)

~Optimism and faith are what keeps us going~ lose both and i will lose myself too.....