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I am really not behaving like my usual self today. Got irritated at myself for all the bad stuff that i did and said today. First, my laptop gave up on me. It decided to get hang early in the morning. Actually, it wasn't really hang, but just that it could not log into my window. I WONDER WHY? Maybe I downloaded too much stuff? Ok, i shall confess. I downloaded one software for my school project de. Actually, the software quite useless and i am still figuring out why the hell do we need to do all that for?! *ok enough whining here. Then i downloaded googleEarth again. I do have it initially, but i forgotten that my laptop was reformatted while in Norway, because my dear lappy decided to give up on me then. It was for the same project that i downloaded the 2 softwares!!! ROAR.

Ok, so i decided to give my laptop a chance to redeem itself. I tried and tried. Restart again and again. But it just wont barge. Hmm, the laptop is just as stubborn as its owner huh? Never Mind! I have decided i might just try again later.

Then, i couldnt study the whole day. Don't really know what i am doing also. Anyway, i told my sister to get me a pair of slipper. Any kind will do so long as I wont slip, because the one that i am wearing now, kind of give up on me too. sigh. Actually, somehow, i knew that my sister will forget to buy for me, but well i am still expectant.

I am kind of disappointed when she really forgot about it. And i admit, i am pissed at her for forgetting. Typical of her! And why cant she put in more effort to remember, just like how she remembered stuff to do for her boyfriend? I don't know to be sad, disappointed, angry, jealous, upset or anything!!

Somehow, i get the feeling that my family is kind of practical. All we know is to provide the basics to our family. Like Food, money, Shelter. There is'nt a thing call care or concern. BOO! I have been so irritated today that i screamed, i pissed off every single one of them with my words. AHA! so disgusted with myself but well, i cant do anything now. We all a bunch of proud people. Actually, i think under such living environment, i have became quite cynical. I saw a family of four this morning when i went jogging. They were going to have their breakfast together.

I thought cynically: 'How long will they be able to go to breakfast together? It will all end when the kids grew up. Things will change. Just like how mine change' Aiya, kids ma, at that stage, the parents will still do things together, making the family more united/cohesive. But then, when the problems come, nothing will stop the changes. Ok, so this is how a cynical person think.

Back to the problem of my lappy. I sort of promised to myself that if the laptop actually recover and let me retrieve and backup my files, i will start to study. Serious study.

Sh*t, this couldn't be more accurate than 4D ok! the Lappy signed into my window and i managed to backup all my files! woohoo!!! lucky lucky. But still, i have decided to bring it to 8 flag tomorrow because i don't think it can last any longer. Better to repair now while it is still under warranty.

ok, after saying so much, i am still upset with my sis. Maybe i shouldnt have. Well, i am entitled to feeling upset once in a while. *continue whining... Ever since, she got together with her current bf, I have never/near to never go out with her lor. Maybe much better this way. I can learn to be more independent, then next time, i won't need to rely on other people as much. Well, i figured i am quite independent now too, that i can go to lecture on my own, I do whatever i want to do. Shall continue like this.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

Maybe that includes the families that u love and the friends that you love?

Tom Brokaw
It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference.